Hm... I spent some time pondering whether or not I should complete/finish this book. I guess I'll never know the answer. I have to have the mood to write, which I admit I don't have at this moment in my life... :)

All I can do for now is offer this free sample:

 That temple, where a handful of Spiritual Masters and Mistresses lived, gathered, in time, a handful of disciples. The novices were people in search of a deeper meaning of their life, individuals who were still looking for a higher purpose...
The soft and gentle breeze was fondling the blossom trees of the temple's garden in that spring afternoon. The air was pure and deep, the light was calm, inviting to introspection...

The Master and the Mistress were walking on the alleys, hand in hand, happy, absorbed in their inner world. Their union was a blessed adventure of two souls merging into one special self-created universe. It was a meditatvie happiness that they were constantly emanating from their own presence, a miraculous energy that had no apparent exterior source and was spreading like a healing perfume across all nature, everywhere...

They met a small group of disciples that were having a conversation. One of them was just saying:
"My parents wanted me to become a succesful businessman, a figure in society. They wanted to show to others who their son was, to take pride in my achievements. But I guess more or less all parents are like that..."
"I remember how my mother insisted I followed the precepts of our religion, eventually pursuing a career as a clergyman..." said another disciple.
"My parents were quite modest. They said they don't care what I was doing with my life as long as I brought money in the house and all bills were paid and everything was ok, no breaking any regulations, you know..." said a third disciple, a middle aged woman.

The couple of Masters approached them. The disciples interrupted their talk, as the Master asked the first disciple:
"So, they wanted you to be a businessman. What did you want to be though?"
"Well, I... it's... It didn't matter what I wanted. I either had the choice of becoming a businessman or leave that house..." the disciple replied a bit confused.
"What made you think it didn't matter?"
"Well, the way they acted towards me when I was pursuing any other plan except the career in business. They considered anything else to be either beyond me, or a waste of time."
"Do you think they wanted you to be happy?"
"I think so. But they definitely had no idea what made me really happy. And because they didn't know that, they took for granted that I would be happy with their choice for me..."
"But what do you think regarding your own person: does it matter what makes you happy?" the Master smiled.
"I think so... I mean, I should care about what I want, right?"
"That is the first question you have to ask from yourself."
"I suppose. Thing is I was used to think and act differently. Not caring much about myself but for the others."
"You were educated in that direction. A forceful and... forced education."
"Yes. They never really listened to me. And as we are speaking now, I realize even myself hardly ever listened to me..." the disciple grinned.
"Because we are not educated to listen to our own selves, to our own hearts. Some of our "teachers" do it on purpose; others, the parents and family especially, do it out of habit, not necessarily with bad intentions. They got too much used to this main stream of thinking – placing the others first and the self second. It is a way of thinking, a pattern of the mind that was imposed worldwide for generations. Why did this happen? The reasons are obvious: someone intends to control another someone... Empires, civilizations, ways of life were built, and, unavoidably, lost this way...
There are other pathss of thinking though..." the Master stopped and looked into the ground.
The Mistress adressed the second disciple:
"And you? Do you find yourself in what was said before?"
"Yes, the only difference being that my parents were against money making business, which they considered quite evil. Instead they were interested in religion. But the constraints were the same, yes. They never actually listened to me, they considered they already picked the best choice of all for me." said the second disciple.
"Did you ever find what makes you happy?"
"Not quite. For a while I tried to convince myself that religion is the solution for me. Until it became obvious it wasn't. Why was I praying? Because I was afraid my desires would not come true, or because I was afraid to suffer. But to label as "love" something that arises out of fear... oh well...
I didn't have many opportunities to ponder on what I want, I... thought thinking about myself and my own desires is something selfish..."
"So, we come to the same conclusion as before. You have yet to realize what makes you happy. Not a happiness that others picked for you but your own choice this time."
The two disciples nodded. The woman novice asked:
"What in my case? They didn't have any expectations from me, as long as I led an honest life..."
Both masters smiled at once. The Master asked back:
"In this case, why are you here?"
"Because... because I want to be here." she answered promptly.
The Mistress continued:
"And why do you want to be here?..."
"Because here I don't have to pretend my life is ok just because I walk "the middle path", "opposite to the extremes" of money or religion in excess, I don't have to sell my time and energy and neurons for some junk money that serve foreign causes, I don't have to smile back at somebody when I don't feel like it and, most of all, I don't have to feign I'm "content with my life" for anyone's sake anymore..."

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